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so my roommate is becoming

so my roommate is becoming an IRC whore.

this is not to imply that she’s having mad cybersex or anything. she just has an attractive personality (as well as a cute face and a hot bod), and she has hordes of guys chasing after her online, asking her to marry them, etc.

it’s great. :)

If you’d like to hit us up, we’re on DALnet in channel #sparky’s_anime. you can query jen at polgara-chan and me at straypixie.

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ok, if you hvaen’t figured

ok, if you hvaen’t figured it out, I went to see U2 thursday at anaheim pond. freaking ridiculously awesome experience. total staragazing night too.. ran into Seal at a beer stand. -grins-

sound was awesome. the show was really different from the san diego show in a lot of ways.. for one thing, they didn’t play anything off Pop for this one, not even Staring at the Sun. =( That’s ok.. they played Stay and All I Want is You, two songs I looooove but I’ve never heard played in concert! They also played an acoustic version of Kite, a song I thought was just “ok” on the CD, but sooo beautiful played live. great treat.

the show was also a lot more somber than the SD show. Pride totally rocked the house in SD, but it was much more somber here. Walk On, however, was unbelievable.the finale, “walk on,” which took on such a life of its on… AAAAAAH!!! soooo good!!

ok, that’s all I’ll say for now… I’ll add more later. I’ll also post clippings to Alex’s digicam movie clips and pics, so you can see for yourself how AWESOME the SD show was! I have no pics from the Thursday Anaheim show though.. =( sorry. that show was even BETTER.

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(something from 4/18… forgot to

(something from 4/18… forgot to post here..)

I was in the bathroom in Bunche today, and I was thinking of how the stalls and the smell vaguely reminded me of Taiwan. Maybe it ws the visceralness of the scene, with the pungent odors of human waste wafting up, floating between tall gray stalls with plastic door locks. I almost expect there to be a hole in the ground, some place for women to squat over whilst doing their business.. .and a rope to pull when one’s finished.

home? is it familiar?

I think of developing countries in a really odd way. There are times when I’m completely disgusted with what it means for countries to “develop.” Modern technologies only hide so much… just because it’s hidden from us doesn’t mean it disappears. it just appears someplace else. There is nothing truly pristine, the way humans like to think of it.

And another thing. I feel dirty in Los Angeles. I thought it was just the dorms.. or maybe how we live. but no.. it’s in the air, in the water. I drank some hot water today, and I could taste the chlorine vapors float in the back of my throat. it was like taking a mouthful of pool water.. and you know how great that is. The water feels dirty, too. Like you can shower, but you’ll never be clean. You can wash your face, but your pores will never be clear, your skin never free of the pollution and the dust and the gaseous emissions spewed into the Los Angeles air. You can wash yourself, scrub yourself with bath beads and loofahs, but you can’t erase that thin film of sooty clogging up your pores. it smothers and spreads.

I want to go home soon. I need to go home soon. I feel myself losing touch with myself with every passing moment.. and I’m clinging so hard to who I am/who I need to be…

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for those of you checking

for those of you checking my website.. sorry, I haven’t updated it recently. I’ve been super busy, and I’ve spent very little time in front of my computer. but for now, I’ll leave you with a few thoughts:

tonight, at the UCLA Percussion Ensembles performance, during the song, “Memoires de l’eau,” a little moth flew across the stage, from the left to the right, and danced a little for us to the beating, sparkling, and popping of the drums and chimes… and as the sounds emanating from the instruments gave me a fully formed image of water splashing on rocks, flowing through, eroding the land, droplets leaping from itself into the sky and back again, I could see the little moth doing its little dance with the water…and it struck me, reminded me how beauty can appear in such unexpected places.. and sway with such poetry in its gentle gestures…

oh, and a link for all those people who thought print journalism was dead~!! See this article in the New York Times. :)

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on moving on with one’s

on moving on with one’s life…
I’m the kind of person who saves all my greeting cards, letters, little encouragements notes, and so forth. I have boxes and boxes of the stuff, and I can’t bear to throw any of it away. My room — you know if you’ve seen it before — is paper madness.

I was sifting through some of it the other day, since I will most likely be moving very soon, and I came across a lot of little notes/cards/postcards/letters that I’d forgotten about. I came across a 3 year old letter from Rex, my Navy friend, about Bosnia, and how afraid he was of what could happen. I came across a little note from my “big sis” Sharon about how she would always be there for me if I needed support, and so forth. I also came across a lot of the notes and cards I’d started to write to people in good faith, but for some reason or another never completed. There was a cute card I picked out for Sharon, about her being a special friend, with the beginnings of a message I was writing to her to thank her for caring, etc. And I felt sad that I never got to send it out, never finished voicing my gratitude, or told her that despite whatever happened, I still respected her.

sound familiar?

Yes, that is how I feel about a former roommate, as well. I was meaning to write her a card telling her my appreciation for putting up with me, and what a cool person she is, etc, etc. at the end of last year, but I wasn’t big enough of a person to be able to do that. my mad procrastinating skillz come in handy too. 0_o and now, I think it is definitely too late. apparently, there’s a lot of shit being thrown around about me, and people’s minds have been tainted with things that are simply not true, or at least scandalous-sounding extrapolations of things about me and my life. it used to bother me a lot.. but now it’s almost amusing where these stories come out. “I did what with who? who is that person? I don’t even know what that is.”

these people don’t know me anymore, and I refuse to be bound by the perceptions of people who seem like they’re just too bored with their own lives and are just far too eager to fuck with other people’s lives. I want to move on. I have a life I want to live. I’ve wasted far too much time and energy last year, not necessarily on people, but in terms of missing opportunities, different things I never got to try, endeavours I’ve missed out on, on things i’d like to do, and so forth. I don’t have time to bloviate my existence anymore. I’m 21 years old. 21! I’ve been around immature people, with fixed ideas, and petty notions of existence, and it’s time to move forward. It’s time to move on.

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SET LIST FOR U2 CONCERT:

SET LIST FOR U2 CONCERT:
Elevation – come on, you knew they had to open with this.
Beautiful Day – .. and follow with this.
The End Of The World – where did this come from?? I don’t know, but I’m sooooo happy they included this! great track off Actung, Baby.
New Years Day – Aw, you know, baby. :)
Stuck In A Moment You Can’t Get Out Of – Eh rendition. Dedicated to Michael Hutchence. -may he rest in peace-
Gone – great tune off Pop.
Even Better Than The Real Thing – Another awesome track off Actung, Baby.
New York – You know, despite all the criticism of this song, I really like it. :) performance featured cowboy Bono riding his thang to strobe lights, flashing his way around the heart shaped walkway.
I Will Follow – From Boy. The song that made them~! Still rocks after all these years.. and Bono can still sing it~!
Sunday Bloody Sunday – Yay! They brought this song back! And amazingly enough, again, Bono can still sing this too!! Featuring a bit of Bob Marley “Get Up, Stand Up” as well. Too cool.
The Sweetest Thing – a song for Bono’s wife Ali, performed live in concert. :) too too sweet!
… Introducing the Band~!
In A Little While – not too memorable of a performance… but it’s a good song… Tribute to Joey Ramone, who had died a few days earlier.
Desire – U2 rockin’ out in good form. =) featured a little bit of marvin gaye’s sexual healing. very nice touch. ;-)
The Ground Beneath Her Feet – Salman Rushdie was actually in the audience for this song. Off the Million Dollar Hotel Soundtrack, this is a beautifully lush song that hinted at the U2 to come with ATYCLB.
Bad – the plinging notes have it. :)
Where The Streets Have No Name – run, baby, run!
Mysterious Ways – requisite sexy song.
The Fly – featuring Bono doin’ the stage dive. forgot about this song off Achtung, Baby!
Bullet The Blue Sky – Great song off Joshua Tree… driving, forceful, edgy tune.
With Or Without You – the whole arena singing…
Pride (In The Name Of Love) – the whole arena singing… drowning out U2… even though Bono packed appropriate punch in the tune. Terrifically rousing performance.. I think U2 even astonished themselves. :) Larry was shaking his head in disbelief .. but he seemed pretty darned happy. :)
One – You know they had to. Pretty good rendition, but I remember the one from PopMart better. the soaring chorus.. -sighs- =)
I Remember You
Walk On – finally. I’d almost forgotten about my favorite song off ATYCLB. Good rendition. Pretty light show to go with it.

super, SUPER awesome. even got to be inside the heart for Even Better Than the Real Thing, New York, I Will Follow, Sunday Bloody Sunday, and The Sweetest Thing. Just a slew of songs I love… and I got to be soooo close for them!!

oh yeah, and I’ve decided that Adam Clayton, the bassist (Yes, Alex, the BAD SEED!), is HOT. here’s a pic if you don’t believe me. ok, it probably won’t convince you either, but IN PERSON he’s HOT!!

Ok, that’s all for now. I’ll put up a U2 Elevation concert page soon, I s’pose.