currently spinnings: Travis – Invisible

currently spinnings:
Travis – Invisible Band, The Man Who
Joe 90 – Dream This
Weezer – Pinkerton, Weezer (blue CD)

I thirst for new knowledge, for a chance to learn, to know something, to smack my feet in ground never before trampled. I want wrinkles in my brain. I want my brain so wrinkled that it hurts my neck for me to raise my head level. I want to know, to understand. I want to be wise!! And I want to take steps toward that wisdom!!

I want to create, give birth to ideas and schools of thought. I want to revolutionize, to change the world for the better, to open people’s eyes to a wide world of possibilities and have my eyes opened too. I’m blind as well!! There is so much I don’t know!

aspiration of the month: learn flamenco dancing

hi kids. sorry for the

hi kids. sorry for the long time in updates, but my computer hard drive died this past week, and I can’t seem to revive it!! my new hard drive (IBM 40 gig 60gxp!! woot!) is arriving soon, so I’ll wrench myself back online soon. :) in the meantime.. i’ve been offline for the longest extended period in memory!! -grins-

So I’m at the Apple

So I’m at the Apple store in Glendale and it’s soooo nice!! No wonder Lucian wants to work here!!

Hehehe. so I’m essentially posting a blog from a remote location just to test out this spiffy iBook. =) Toys!! Toys!!

Went to Ikea today and picked up a bunch of stuff.. mostly candles and candle paraphenalia. It was so cheap! and so cute!! AAAH!! I think Lucian was pretty sick of me by then. He gave up on trying to advise me.

I’m going to explore the mall a little more. =)

hooray for literacy!!! I feel

hooray for literacy!!!
I feel terrible admitting this, but I’ve become absolutely illiterate since coming to college. or.. actually, more accurately, since my class attendance became really spotty;o) (sophomore year). Even in high school, I read more than I do now! I was realizing this as I’ve been chilling at home, surrounded less by ikea furniture and too much natural sunlight and instead by tempered sunshine filtered through busted blinds and relics of my old academic successes. I picked up John Steinbeck’s The Winter of Our Discontent, one of my favorite books back in the day, and relished in its stacatto-flowing prose. I’m still looking for my copy of William Saroyan’s The Human Comedy; I’d like to read it again and see how I think of it now. I remember loving the sparse, pathos-filled prose that so cast such loving glows upon each of its characters. (heh. I was a pretty idealistic 8th grader)

I MISS READING!! I miss hearing sonorous sentences ring in my ears as my eyes trip over each word, as if each were a note in a song. I think that’s why I love Fitzgerald so much. His writing is music to my ears, a salve for an injured spirit, stinging with such longing and loss, and yet such hope for something more.

resolution for the upcoming quarter: more reading!
– harry potter
– lord of the rings
– william saroyan – human comedy
– richard feynman – the pleasure of finding things out (thanks, facetious!)
– jane hamilton – a map of the world

anyone have any suggestions for books I should read? feel free to email me.

Memento. Edward, Matt, and I

Memento.
Edward, Matt, and I went to see Memento last night at the new Milpitas Super Saver (YES! 2.50 movies!! woot!). It was definitely the best 2.50 I’ve spent in quite a while. The unusual story is told in such an incredibly original — and very appropriate — manner. The story opens with a brutal killing and works backward from there. It’s revealed that the protagonist has lost his short term memory after his wife’s brutal murder and that he is out to avenge the killer. Because he has no short term memory, he relies on a system of notes, body tattoos, and taking polaroid pictures to keep himself together. The movie is made as a series of scenes in a story, only they are told in reverse, with the beginning of one scene as the end of the next scene. You get the same sense of confusion and creating a new memory with each scene, even though it’s directly related to the “memory” before.

Memento is not only a creative and affecting effort, it also presents some interesting ideas about the roles of time and memory in our lives, both as ways of creating meaning in our lives, establishing identity, and molding the realities in which we live. Memory can be manipulated to suit how we think — we can forget some of the less pleasant things in the people we like, make a conscious effort in people we don’t like. We do these things so we can live our lives better. But what if we didn’t have a choice? What if you were a clean slate each time? What if that protective mechanism never switched “on”? And if each day is new, how do you feel that anything has changed if you can’t remember anything happening? And what gives your life meaning, if you can’t remember anything that gives it meaning, or create new ideas to reflect your experiences?

Calvin (of Calvin and Hobbes fame… man, that was a good comic strip!!) once observed that “Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon, everything is different.”

Maybe we take for granted that each day, each moment is important, and each new memory is something special, as each is built upon by the next, shaping who we are, and shaping our futures. This is our time…

Hehe. Memento is definitely a movie I want to get on dvd eventually. Worth watching again, that’s for sure.

what happens when other people’s

what happens when other people’s voices replace your own a as meaningful means of self-expression?

I tried writing some poetry again the other day, and I failed miserably. I couldn’t get my rhythm, my timing, nothing. I totally feel like I’ve lost my voice, somehow incapacitating it in the 6 month time since I’ve last written anything resembling semi-decent writing.

BWAAGH!