oh ucla. *sighs*
I’m back for my fifth (and hopefully final) year at this university, finally with some semblance of direction, although not necessarily purpose (in the grand scheme of things, anyway). It’s so weird coming back to school after even just the shortest of breaks. Summer session is so different from the regular school year. For one thing, it’s a LOT less crowded. I can come to campus and find parking fairly easily, even if it means parking on the roof of that massive behemoth of a cement structure called Lot 2. that sort of ease is unheard of now; daily parking is sold out by 7am.
I’m digressing. The biggest difference isn’t just huge difference in the number of people on campus, but also the attitude. I can’t explain it… when I come on campus, I feel the urge to go shopping. I feel that encroaching smug complacency of being a quote-unquote “UCLA student,” in the land of beautiful people and pretty possessions. Now that I’ve been removed from it for a while, I can see a sort of.. sickness that pulled me and a few of my friends away in the first place. I guess… one way I’d describe it is by comparing it to how it felt on other campuses. I remember.. when i walked onto UCSD’s campus the thought that came to mind was “a great place to study.” I walked onto UCSB’s campus and thought “I’m getting drunk just standing here.” I visited Berkeley, and thought “this is where [deep voice] great thinking [/voice] takes place. One steps onto UCLA and feels like they’re being aggressively marketed to..by UCLA selling a sort of “great educational package” the way Manny Calavera sells “great travel packages.” One walks around campus and notices tons of people wearing UCLA sweatshirts and feels compelled to pick one up for oneself. One walks on Bruin Walk and feels every organization trying to sell themselves to you, the potential participant. And, not to mention that because it’s LA, everyone feels like they have to look good too… or they’ll cast a downward glance on someone who doesn’t.
Maybe I’m just noticing it because there are a lot of Greek people in this music history class i’m taking right now, or because it’s the beginning of the year and everyone’s in their mad rush to recruit/be recruited. I’m probably just speaking out of disillusion as a former recruit who kind of feels like she’s been taken for a bit of a ride. Not by the stuff she’s been part of, nono. I guess I finally feel like I’m in a place where I appreciate my education and this opportunity I’ve been given, and i’m so wary about selling it, or getting duped into buying something else. It took me long enough. *sigh*