so this guy I’ve been talking about? I’m a bit uncertain as to how I actually feel about him. -scratches head- I’m getting a sinking feeling that I may I like the notion of getting away/out of LA more than I actually like this guy. 0_o Not that this guy isn’t cool — when he launches into how he figured out how to overclock his 75mhz Pentium back in the day before it was a big thing, I just get chills up and down my spine. (no. I’m serious. I was actually really turned on when he busted into techie speak. Gosh, I’m such a techie whore.) But yea.. the more I hang out with him, the more I have doubts. So I’m not sure exactly how much I like him.
this is hard to explain. I have a tendency to idealize lots of things, and my relationships are usually subject to a bit of that. Believe it or not though, I still have my head, and i’ve gotten better about keeping my head in the past year. This new thing is too new for me to behave otherwise, don’t you think? There’s nothing there yet, just wisps of fantasy. Yes, it’s fun to dream, but really. What kind of fool do you take me for? -rolls eyes-
anyway, lots have been on my mind lately. I think that psychic woman was right when she said this is a thinking year. =P At any rate, it’s been a thinking week, if you couldn’t tell from my blog. I’ve put a lot of personal stuff on this blog these past few days — most of it stuff you REALLY didn’t need to know — but I’ll trust that you know me well enough, or at least are generous enough in spirit to allow me to speak freely. Things with me tend to shift day by day, hour by hour, and there’s no point in pretending that some of the less appealing aspects aren’t me. So, there it is. Maybe I’m going through a purging right now, maybe it’s that time of the month or something, but I feel like leaving a lot of things behind. You might lose respect for me now, but at least I’m confident that I’ll change your mind later. Have faith.
But from the comments I got from my last blog entry, don’t worry. I’m not planning to up and throw my heart at some dude who just landed in heartbreak hotel. It sounded bad, didn’t it? Anyway, I’m probably just going to give the whole thing some time. Thanks everyone fer your comments and your concern. =)