grey day.
I love grey days. :) It’s probably amazing for me to say this, but I think we’re really spoiled in southern california with all this sunshine, all this happy, mindless, sunshine that fries your brain and leaves you without a care in the world.
..which, you know, isn’t a bad thing in general, but it’s something that is deadly in large doses just because it’s so perfect it can’t be real. it’s so easy to get caught in this sunny sparkling reality that things that should matter don’t seem to matter much anymore. hehe. I think the sunshine does something tricky with your head, and you need some rain and grey days to even it out. :)
anyhow! enough about that!
happy labor day, kids! sorry I haven’t updated my blog for quite a long time. I guess i’ve been a wee bit busy. I had a really awesome weekend, btw. on friday, i went with my friend anthony to Mizu 212, a shabu-shabu place on sawtelle. a bit after that, I hit up a housewarming party for my friend dennis which, as it turned out, wasn’t actually a housewarming party, but just a party with a bunch of people I’d met at a party last week (same bat-crowd, different bat location…). I tried to bring pearl vodka (best vodka in the world, I’m telling you!) to the party, but was thwarted because ralph’s didn’t carry it. -snaps fingers-. I ended up bringing a bottle of absolut mandarin (also tasty, but not as high quality) and dum-dums to cynthia’s, where we sipped smirnoff ices and cracked batman jokes while watching vertical limit (starring former boy wonder, chris o’donnell).
left saturday around noon for nocturnal wonderland, an “all-night music festival” taking place at lake havasu. the drive was sooooooo long! we got to the rave location at around 6pm, and didn’t get in until 8:30 because of the huge line (I guess typical for massives?), but not nearly as bad as the line for monster massive back in october (cringes). the event was huuuge… with stages and food and little merchandise stands all lined up like a huge carnival boardwalk. we spent most of our time at the labyrinth stage and saw people like rabbit in the mood, bassbin twins, and dj tiesto. it was soooo awesome. :) we danced under the stars till dawn, and watched the sun rise over the desert horizon.. watching the gold glow from the ground seep into pale blue, and then into the deep purple of the fading night. it was an awesome sight sober… I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had been on something. -grins- it was fun watching people on E get all happy. it was also fun feeding people on E ez, because when they put it in their mouths, they looked like they were tasting the most heavenly thing in the world… :)
I wonder what that’s like! people say reality is perceived through your senses, but sensation is an incredibly relative thing — it varies from person to person, from sense to sense. I’m a sight-sound-smell kind of person, and the joys I perceive through my senses is a big part of who I am and how I react to the world around me. I can’t stand the smell of hugo boss cologne, but cool water makes me smile. I appreciate a movie with an interesting look, and I love music so much I have a portion of this site devoted to “aural pleasures.” so, I mean, I’m sure this applies to everyone else to: your perceptions shape your reality, your senses shape those perceptions, and influence the relatiive ways we all interact with our surroundings.
so imagine being on E and having all that turned up so much. I can’t imagine that high, but I’m really scared of the low. I know I have a semi-depressive personality, and I wouldn’t want to mess with my neurochemicals that way, so I would never do it. still.. it’s awesome seeing people so happy, and seeing them in touch with their sensations and them being that much mroe tuned into the world and loving the world so much more and loving each other so much more because of that. I used to think that drugs and alcohol were all bad — c’mon! little sheltered suburban kid!! — but my views have changed since then. I drink. I don’t do drugs, although I have friends who do, in various degrees of hardness. and…
I guess i still don’t quite know what i think of it. I think it’s awesome that they feel so good. I don’t have that feeling of “well, you should be ok enough with yourself that you don’t need drugs!” anymore; it’s evolved to a to simply a thing to do instead of a mark of insecurity or whatnot. so go ahead. feel good. :) be happy. get more in touch with yourself, with your world. I basically feel that if you know what you’re doing, and you’ve got it under control, then there’s nothing for me to tell you. if I feel like you’re doing them for the wrong reasons, or if I feel like they’re doing way more harm then good, then I would say something.
but i digress.. again! sunday was the long drive back. didnt get back till almost 6pm. the drive was a series of gas station stops in the middle of the desert… we’d sleep for a few hours, wake when dave or rory stopped to get gas, and fall back asleep again. I was introduced to more great music, through. :) see my music blog. Nocturnal Wonderland was awesome. =) to neil, jackie, HT, diane, joey, and jason… you guys made my night~!!
got dinner from versailles with my friend wen, came home, and chilled at my place for the rest of the night, catching up on reading and email. I intended to sleep around midnight, however, our ant problem arose again and got between my plans. I didn’t sleep till 6am…
now, it’s monday. it’s almost 7:30 now, and I’ve been up for maybe 5 hours. oh dear, where did my day go?! I missed a lovely grey day! I got lunch at california fresh with my friend jason (no, not that jason! the other one! no! the other one! no, no, not that one, the other other one!) mm.. creamy chicken pasta… :) was also introduced to some true old school hip hop music…=)
my friend jason went to high school with one of my Mosaic ’97 cohorts.. joanne haruta! what a small world! I wonder where everyone is now…
anyway. the sun’s set now, and evening breezes are beginning to chill this small apartment. the candles I’ve lit on my desk and on the coffee table flicker a little bit, so I’m going to close the windows in a little bit. (i love candles!) i love our new apartment… we have a nice balcony with a view (of the cemetary, but it’s actually kind of nice to see such expanses of green grass in West LA.), and it’s cozy and well decorated. my roommates are really cool. our place is really really ikea’d out, though.. from the coffee tables to the desks to the lighting and lamps to the pots and pans we have. it’s a little scary.. something out of a bad scene in fight club, but i guess it makes for comfortable living.
such is the importance of money.. to be able to furnish your place comfortably? but what about using your money for people other than yourself? money is such power… you could go ahead and open up a hospital in a third world country, and really truly make an impact in helping significant numbers of people. so many people really want to help others, but money is always a problem. people honestly don’t need much money to live.. it comes when you reach a particular standard of wealth and comfort, and wanting to maintain that level of comfort, from the furniture you sit on to the friends you keep to the music you listen to. it’s all dictated by money.. which influences social standing… and ironically, the quest to make money to reach that level of wealth and power can ultimately be a trap to those seeking it, keeping them dependent on what that questing demands of you… it’s kind of a sick cycle. it takes a lot to be your own person, because people are by nature social beings, and balancing self and external forces is something that gets more and more complicated as you get older… at least that’s how it’s felt for me…
-ponderously-
anyway. that’s just food for thought. was discussing this with david the other day… david who’s back at MIT as we speak.
ok, it’s 7:40.. and I haven’t had dinner yet! time to eat. :)
peaceful day, gray day, candlelit day… -smiles-