and maybe I resent being changed. If I’m going to change, I change on my terms. why should I for any other reason?
I look at this person now, and I see myself about a year ago, when I lost sight of what generous love entails. I had become possessive and petty, this whole other animal that came out of me because I was scared and insecure. I started trying to base my love on tokens of love, and not seeing it for what it was. but tokens aren’t anything.. just scraps of paper, or long distance conversations. you can’t base a love on bits of paper. you’ve got to base it on the feeling, and that trust that yes, that other person really does care…
but maybe.. when you clearly aren’t connecting, and you can’t love each other in the way they need to be loved.. what happens then? I guess you just have to let it go…?
so yeah, I’m still trying to figure all this out. I don’t know if any of this makes any sense.. I’ve been feeling slightly bare to the world with this blog.. part of me wants to be brutally honest, but then again.. I don’t know who’s reading this… and since I’ve been feeling misunderstood as a person in general, I don’t really expect people to get it from reading this blog anyway. -throws arms up in the air.-